everytime I look at your face I think to myself..

"Im glad you left".

Rufus Wainwright - Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk

Just a lil addicted to his music.=/

I've got millions of random thoughts to share.

And i decided to gather all of them and let it out at one go.
But I know the ones that are gonna come out now are gonna be less than half of what I've really thought of..
Well.. all to prove one thing..

My mind is so inept.

1)Which do you prefer? A person with Good character but bad personality OR A person with bad character but good personality? I say both are equally crucial.

2)Women AREN'T stupid. Women ARE stupid by CHOICE.

3) Too much is never enough. So cliche, scratch that.

4) It is not until you really get to know and learn more about 'weird' people that you'll see 'weird' people are the best people to be around with.

5) Fab = - Fab. I guess you really can't force someone.

6) Today our class got screwed by our lecturer. Can't believe this is still happening. Maybe because I'm in it. But that brought back highschool memories.

7) I wonder if life is still meaningful if there was no such thing as memory.

8) Talking alot doesnt entirely mean I enjoy talking rather simply because you just did a shitty job in holding a conversation.

9) Arts....... I don't care how much of a waste of time and money and how a useless degree it is said to be, If I ever get to do that I will make you jealous.

10) Gaining overseas experiences is good. Developing a whole new different perspective and wanting to alter your lifestyle a 180 degrees is just bad....

11) Everything is about conditioning. And you'll be fine.

12) I still don't see how you can be addicted to coffee.

13) I hate my guts sometimes.

14) because I am yet to tell you again that there is only ONE WAY to earn your salvation.















yeah i wish life was simpler.

what you do to me

Why it feels like yesterday, when it has been quite a while.
or maybe it's just the rain..
but how do you explain this pain.
Cuz hearts don't lie and
they seem to know the truth,
more than you and I do.
And everytime they connect,
do you still feel your world, slowing down like it used to.

cuz my heart's still skipping beats
that I couldn't quite ignore
With every sleepless night, I would lie awake wishing I could tell you how I feel.

cuz I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling.

apparently snubbing can be a very powerful weapon in wrecking a relationship.

What else.

THE SPARE is a short narrative that evolved from the idea of a simple phone conversation. Essentially, it is a brief glimpse of two people's lives as we see them in everyday life. The Spare reveals a playful, endearing, and realistic relationship between a young couple as they have a casual conversation.

Written/Directed by Wesley Chan
Featuring Helen Ma and Kinson Tam
Music by Philip Wang.

very sweet ending =]

phase

When everything seems pathetic
And music only makes you sick
They tell you it’s okay
but the pain won’t go away
You try hard to ignore
Now even chocolates don’t work anymore

For the first time you think it’s okay to be vulnerable.

But it’s not okay to be.

I trust You know the big picture.

Contain

if you have to..

..and things will be less complicated.

decisions

you've got only ONE way.

So make the best out of that ONE.

beautiful people..

2 weeks just went by but God knows how much it has consumed me.
Ok, time to release stress!


1st person- Thank you for being so patient with me and all the help you've provided me, you're indeed a great friend although we've never been really close. I'm still working on my chinese. I'll write you a thankyou letter in chinese. I'm sucha hyper eh?.. Don't ever give up on me =]

2nd person- You're right, I should force myself to fully utilize my brain and stop asking stupid questions. Also, stop thinking that everything will lead to something negative. A few 'slaps' on my face is sometimes good, I'm glad you're the one doing it though :) (p/s- I'm yet to find out the colour of cortisol ;) )

3rd person- How ironic, from 2 entirely different kind of person, coming together and still somehow manage to blend and be a-like. A Melancholic-Sanguine and a Melancholic-Phlegmatic, what combination. well, it's gonna be exciting. 2 weeks under one roof.. still surviving.. More to come.. but we'll manage. ;)

4th person- You're the brother I never had. I feel pampered all over again. Special fried rice wouldnt be special if it werent for your company =] You know you're always welcomed here..... to cook of course! =P

5th person- I can't thank you enough. I mean, who cares bout exams anymore once they've graduated? but you cared. Tmn R rawks. we will have more sessions when I get back, I promise =]

6th person- I know it's just a FREE plain notepad with 4 different colours of post-its which obviously only freak me out. but it's been so useful and for the first time I see how just thought really counts. Thank you that you bothered.=]

7th person- I miss laughing hard at stupid stuff with you. We can get really stupid sometimes. Well, what to expect, we only had a house, a room, and one bed to share! hey there, I don't eat as much anymore while studying. I'm losing weight.. I hope you are too =]

8th person- You took the effort to text me and say a lill prayer and that's what I needed most. Thanks for remembering me. That made a difference. =]

9th person- I have so many questions. I wanna know what you did yesterday, today and your plans tomorrow.. I wanna know how far you've progressed.. and if you're really well. I wanna know if you still care. And if you do, we're probably not very different afterall :) So many questions, so little courage..

10th person- What can I say, you know I'll always come back to you. You're a true blessing =]

11th person- I want You to be the only One I can trust and depend on. Thank you for the second chance.

....if lying will make you smile.

you do wanna skip this

"When I see people doing their jobs poorly, or apathetically, it bugs me. (I'm guilty, I was like that for a few months when I worked at Target back in high school). But I'm thinking, you chose this job, you wanted it. So do it well, try to enjoy it. It'll show, and it'll make a difference on others." -Phil.W

You're right, am I really doing a good job in this course I'm in, and learn to really like it because I chose it anyways..

"My spiritual walk with God is at a stand still if not slowly going in reverse. I WANT to make it more of my life...no, encompass all of my life. =\. And I feel as tho my life is full of so many amazing blessings, like He's screaming for my attention, but, I ignore, or don't return the attention...because, my mind is obviously somewhere else." -Phil.W

www.xanga.com/wongfuphil

No matter how busy you are and successful you are currently with Wongfu, I'm glad you still give a lill thought bout your spiritual life and it's great that you realize and know that He is screaming out to you. I can't deny how much I love your work and your effort and I really do enjoy all your productions and I'll probably be one of your biggest fan that you'll never ever come to know bout' in this lifetime.. But just in case you ever read this, do know the things you say never fail to encourage me .. . meanwhile,
I'll continue to pray for you =]


So,..
he's persistent and he's one sensitive guy he's appreciative, contented and thankful he loves vitasoy and he drinks Gatorade (my fav) too! I memorized all his shows except for the chinese one =P BUT I smile at the simplest things he says
he can't sing for crap but i dont care.
he's not the most goodlooking to be honest but that doesn't bother me
and I think of him an awful lot.





I like him.
*smiles widely at Serene*

look WHO's back???

Being the Wongfu freak I am, how can I possibly miss their latest production. Check out the latest t-shirt "Sometimes cupid is stupid" on Phil, I thought was cute. Should prolly get one.
Anyways..
I.. i mean, Wongfu presents you..
Break Up Back Up (Part 1)

.. and I finally see what's good for me.

Plain White T's - Hey there Delilah

Don't know why but everytime this song is played on the radio my mind will wonder and I seem to like this song very much. The tune seems to blend in so well with the words..

I thought it's awfully romantic hah.


Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

GONE

..was one of the song Switchfoot performed that night and they totally nailed it.
I might as well put up the lyrics.

She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
than try and fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
even with the cell phone gone.
She told him that she believes in living
bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upside down.

Don't say so long,
and throw your cell phone.
Don't spend today away,
'cause today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
Just try and prove me wrong and
pretend like you're immortal.

She said, he said, live like no tomorrow
Everyday we borrow brings us one step closer to the edge. Infinity.
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
if you get the world and lose your soul?
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal.
Don't say so long, you're not that far gone.
This could be your big chance to make-up
Today will soon be
Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
You're going, going
Gone, like summer break is gone,
Like Saturday is gone
Just try and prove me wrong
You pretend like you're immortal
(you're immortal)You're immortal (you're immortal)

Ha-ah

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We are so confident in our accomplishments.
Look at our decadence.

Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,
Like Al Pacino's cash, nothing lasts in this life.
My High School dreams are gone,
my childhood streets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long.
Life is more than money, time was never money.
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls.
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills.
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills,
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age
but do we know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages?
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer to the God who's not short of cash

Hey Bono, I'm glad you asked.
Life is still worth living,
Life is still worth living.
Life is more that you are.

<3

"......These lungs were given for a reason, and this heart was given for a reason..."

Jon foreman said these words and went "~We were meant to live for so much more!! Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside~"

my heart just fell on the floor.
and the crowd went crazy.

What more when he did his signature 'out of tune/in between semitones' scream..

sweat~

(Look at that..*Steam*)

Jon Foreman did sang his version of 'Only hope' and then he did some creative stuff along the way. very very entertaining. His bro Tim was equally cute, especially when Jon went over to hug him. so sweet.

And then there was a part where he stopped and said " I wanna take a mental picture right now" and the spot light was just on him while he stared into everyone's eyes.. omgoodness.

What can I say. Switchfoot was spectacular.

pictures speak louder than words. wish I have the pics now but that has to wait.


Never knew Jon Foreman is so emo. A blonde emo I'd say. (how unique ) He gave me a whole new impression. Totally diff from what I've always perceived. He is so gentle, so polite and so extremely shyyyy.. !!

The moment we shook hands, I could feel the chemistry between us... (*smile to self*)



*speechless*

While queuing to meet him, I had a coup of things planned out to say to him, things like "I really appreciate your music soo much and I'm glad you came...! I love you Jonnn!!.." but there he was, right in front of my face and I went

" have a good daay! "

???!!!!???!!
no thx to Aussies.

..totally blew tht one.

Anyway, I know this is unnecessary but,

ahahh..

more will come soon. :D

oh, bumped into a coup of happening&interesting ppl and long lost friend.. n then there was David.. fuyohh.. happening.. this fella.

Anyway, Switchfoot was totally worth it.

This crowd (in KL) was so far the best and most memorable one for Switchfoot, especially for Jon Foreman. hahaaaaa..
(I can prove he meant that from his heart becuz Cheryl was in Aus where they had their concert and he didnt say the same thing) :D





Malaysia rawks ?

p/s-Thanks Peanut for the pics-

how to love when you're filled with hatred.

how to love when you've been disappointed countless times.

how to love when you've been deeply hurt.

how to love knowing love simply ain't enough.

how to love regardlessly.


how to love like You...

Should I...

Catch 2 movies a day?
stay in bed all day?
spend more time studying?
indulge in good food?
take more pictures?
plan a trip?
exercise more?
more shopping with family?
write a new song?
Develop photos?
clean my room?
Pack up?
meet up with friends?
hug like it's gonna be the last time?

or, just remain jaded for the last 10 days .


I don't know.

Sweeney Todd

Epiphany

...There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face ~

ohhh Johnny Depp.. *faints*

home.. where are you??

..
So, you're back home. yeah.
I mean, come on, you're finally back, to this place you call home.
familiar places, streets, odour.
Afterall this is where you grew up.
It should be great.

Despite the countless reports on missing childs , robbery, rape cases, killing, chopping human into pieces.. and trust me, you don't wanna know the details.. everysingle day in the papers, I said to myself, 'I'm 21, I can't just stay home, and the 'party' only begins at 11pm. I need to get a life.'

Well, no curfew for me. Easy? No. that only makes it so much harder for me, because it means i gotta be responsible for every step i take. i see how liberal my parents already are with the two of us. it would be easier for them to just say. 'no, you gotta be back home by 10.30pm'
but that would suck, wouldnt it.


At the same time, I often feel how in dilemma they are. Afterall, we (me & sis) are their only 2 invaluable possessions.

I don't give two crap bout whatever's going out there and I don't want to know because I just wanna hang out with my friends and the only time most ppl can make it is during the nights. I am already taking so much precautions like not wearing obscene clothings, looking my worst possible, wearing double undies, making sure my car's locked the moment i get in, stay attentive, and walk/go out in groups!
(ok, I was kiddin bout the double undies)

So you think that's fair enough.
I thought so.

Just two days ago, the three of us, ryl,wy and myself, were just waiting for min, to head for supper and we were standing at the corner of the road with the car parked along the road and along came this man around his 50's.
believe me when I say the road is very wide and there were ample space for you to walk. BUT he went squeezing between us and said 'Excuse me girls, can I just get to my motorbike'.

Alright.

MAYBE we were obstructing the traffic. After giving him MORE space to walk,
I caught him STILL looking and more precisely now, STARING at us and so, I continued to look at him . wy already felt uneasy while ryl's still on the phone with min giving directions. So what happened was, he walked up to us and with a good 5 seconds, along with great eye contact he said "you girls are really brave ppl huh... to stand here, at this hour, this time. " and he gave in the most sarcastic & disgusting smile ever.
WHAT the..

nvm, so wy suggested we all stay in the car until min arrives.
SEE. Another precaution.


Tell me, am I suppose to stay home at this hour because YOU, hinted us bout the dangers of being out at night and that there are potential ppl like YOU who'd kidnap us and then rape us. ???!

I was fuming. to the point I became speechless.

See, I DO wanna get a LIFE. but stepping out of the house is like risking your life. and you live in fear just being out there.

and because of that, most girls' curfew is at 12a.m. Does it make a difference for me to not have one?
No.
[VERY potong-steam, especially when you're halfway playing taboo / pictionary ;) -inside joke]

It's advisable to not go for a jog alone, drive into a car park alone, or just stroll around the park alone.
because they'll kidnap you, and you won't be found. If you are found, it is only because you've been gang raped and you've been chopped into pieces.

oh.. ohhh..
and don't get me started with the 'police'..



I love the food...but other than that,
my country disgusts me.

Gotta check this out.

Got this from cheryl.
hillarious.
and it's pretty true. i'd say 98percent.

click to enlarge.

CHINESE, JAPANESE, KOREANS


haha,.. tell me bout it.

Cease

So.. Heath Ledger's dead.
apparently from drug overdose.

couldn't quite digest that, yet



that makes, 21,22,23,24,25,..26,...27, 2..
7 years to go....


forget bout' plans, forget bout' "what if's"....screw 'long terms..'

so yeah,... "Carpe Diem!!! "

life's vulnerable.

yea, truly is.



p/s- brokeback mountain anyone? yes..... i haven't seen the movie.

happy-ness

two ways to make yourself feel happy.

1) consume chocolates.
2) Exercise.

because both releases endorphin.
no 1 is simple but you'll put on weight.
the latter is tough but you'll lose weight. Then again, you'll feel happy and at the same time you lose weight. That's double happiness!
So yeah, exercise more. Trust me, it works.



gambatte! ;)



wenya, you know you can't escape that so long i'm around. muahahah!

I do..

..believe that marriage is sacred. And marriage is a gift from God. And it is so wonderful because that signifies unity between two individuals. 2 become 1 =]


It’s been a while since I last witness a wedding, until yesterday.
The couple looked great together as they both walk down the aisle. That’s one of the best moments in a wedding, and you can feel your heart slightly lifted just watching. And of course, the moment they both exchange vows and rings. Sometimes you just know in your heart that they are made for each other.


I truly believe that the wedding is not just a day that would only impact the newly wed or a day for most to envy, but also a day which opens an opportunity for reconciliation in broken marriages, and a chance to rekindle relationships, Also for complacent couples who've been married for years… this day will definately trigger great memories... which will lead to superb sexual intercourse on that night itself. ok, I didn’t say that.

AND, an encouragement for established relationships to consider a lifetime commitment.


Marriage is not just a piece of signatured document.
It’s not just a one whole tiring day full of protocols to get over with.
It’s not just a momentary thing where you ‘commit’ first and then call it off anytime you wish.

but rather a proclamation. A pledge.
A promise .

When you utter..

“I (... ) take you (…. ) to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part. "


And to truly know what it means to say ..




I do.

:]

Oh, you meant me?!

VIRGO - The Perfectionist. (oh, me? really??)

Conservative (very)
Always wants the last word. (sometimes, sometimes.)
Argumentative. (that's healthy ok)
Worries. (Alot)
Very smart. (I am quite, actually ;) )
Pessimistic (pretty obvious)
Dislikes noise and chaos. (peace ^-^)
Eager. (YES)
Hardworking. (I try,i try..)
Often shy (I am ok!)
Easy to talk to (sure =])
Loyal. (of course ;)
Beautiful. (like, duh)
Harsh. (I try not to)
Dominant in relationships. (not always)
Hard to please (really? ..No -lahh!..)
Practical & fussy (Where got??!!)

oh, and you forgot! - Eccentric!

7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Don't want.

bluff ppl one.

The Insignificant

..


Her alarm clock won't stop ringing. She struggles as she tries to reach out for the clock. It's 4 in the morning. Yet another routine.
She pulls herself up, out of the room and takes a warm shower to start the day.
It's rather chilly and she puts on the water boiler. oh well, that would probably take a while.
And 3 steps away, lies 2 cups and a bowl by the sink that was left overnight. The girls must have had supper again, she thought.

Just around the corner, the mounting laundry is calling out to her. She immediately picks and chucks them into the washing machine.

What's for breakfast today. Biscuits will do, and a cup of coffee to go with, of course.

Perfect.

She walks out of the house, into the garden. And for one moment she was caught in space. Nature never fails. She inhale the freshest air as the cool breeze lightly brushes her face. How intoxicating.

With a broom on one hand and a dustpan on the other, she begin to sweep all area surrounding the garden and picks up dried leaves.
From the other end, the little dog never stops barking, calling out to her.
She's not alone afterall.

It's almost 8 a.m now, and the dog hasn't stop strolling around the garden. She continues to hang the washed clothes to dry under the sun as she watches the dog run around with freedom.
For one moment, she wished she could stay longer.

It's no longer chilly now. She got back into the house and she always remember to lock the doors.

She does some remaining ironing in her room, proceeded with the other house chores and everything else to beautify the house.

She looks at the clock several times, and she quietly walk upstairs, very careful not to wake the girls. She's meaning to knock on the girls' door. She knows they are still asleep and because of that she's running behind schedule.
But nothing can be done except cleaning up the 2 other remaining rooms.

It's almost 11am now. Finally.

The family take turns to use the bathroom. Everyone's rushing, she wonders why.

"we're heading off to the city today" -one said.


oh yes, yes. It's a wednesday. how absent minded.

She pause for a second to look at the girls in their best dress. How pretty. She secretly wished she own one.

She locks the front gate as she watches them leave the house. She gave in a faint smile.

Within seconds, the house is empty again, overtaken by the sudden silence. She dread this moment. She has always.

I wonder what are they doing right now. Are they also thinking of me as how I think of them now, she thought.
I really shouldnt get started. A little voice in her mind says.
and so she shakes that thought off her mind.

It's noon and the sun has been out for a while now.
It is now sizzling hot. She feels lethargic. She doesnt feel good.

She can't fall sick.
Unfold clothes, untidy rooms, messy kitchen.
No not now, not today.


She walks into her room and take a peep at the calendar. She crosses out today's date. 565 more days to go.
She let out the longest sigh.

It is so hot and humid and yet she turns off the fan.
She could feel thumpings in her head and now she can hardly balance herself.



She has fallen sick.



Night falls, and the house is still as empty & quiet as before.



It's 12 midnight now,
and she misses her family.

!

I need a change.
A 180 degrees change.

To you, and to you.

Sorry

What I thought wasn't mine,
In the light
Wasn't one of a kind,
A precious pearl

When I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause
I wasn't allowed

Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain
When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself

What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away

Gomenasai, for everything.
I never needed a friend,
Like I do now.



T.A.T.U-Gomenasai

..is THIS

hahah. hopefully. ;) Anyway, she's Marie Digby, doing a cover of Incubus-love hurts. Check her other clips out if you will. She's gonna be a STAR. Her first album will be out around April 2008.

yeah. this is what I've been doing :P

Resolution.

So I'm sitting here, on the last day of 2007, with my computer on, trying to think of something to write. A grand mind-blowing entry to end the year perhaps? Or maybe just come up with the last ever emo post. Yeah? you think so? Nah,..I'm sure you don't want that. You know you love my emo-ness. ;)

Anyway, what's strange is that I've been thinking bout this. What have I achieved in my 21 years of living. Wait, I am not competing with others and the rest of the world and base how I've lived a fulfilling life by the things I've achieved. Rather, have I really achieve what I really wanted all these years. Something I really wanted to do, something I really like and am passionate of. Everytime at this point, I raise a question, a dreaded one. What do I REALLY like/love?
I've been tagged my whole life by the family as 'Jack of all traits, and master of none' , in which I myself find hard to deny.
I can easily come up with a list of stuff I 'thought' I was interested and gotten myself involved in.
Piano. Guitar. Singing. Reading.Fashion. Comicist. Drama. Writing. Photography. Fine Art, Collecting Stickers. Poems. Gym.
Man, I could go on and on. Tried all of them and I like them all. But you know you can never have it all. That leaves me with no choice but to pick one/two and at least master them. That raise another question. Should I choose what I love most but not exactly the one that I'm best at. Or should i base my choice on the one that I'm best at but least love. That's too confusing. But that's how the mind works, you look for excuses.
But set aside all that, I don't even feel like making a choice to begin with. Why isn't there a passion that would drive me just as much as how it drew Leonardo Da Vinci close and in tuned with the world of art. I want that. and often I get so envious with people who really know what they love. You love cars so much. that's easy. Just do something related to cars. You love to social. alright, get into mass com then, you'll mingle well there. So what do I really love doing?

Good question.

Being 'Jack of all traits' certainly has its plus points. You're a handyman. you can do everything. It's great. Variety is good. Yeah, it surely is. But you never excel in one. And you will never be remembered as one. Especially when you're at THE point of your life. This is when you realize it's time to get serious. you gotta think hard. Set a goal. Set your mind to it. Focus and then work your ass towards it. Because before you know it, It's another new year again. and you're running out of time.


I wanna be able to stand here, and proclaim boldly of my passion to you and then work my way through and never give up no matter what happens. So, there you go. My PASSION.. is.. hrm..





....
maybe tomorrow. ^-^''


Blessed New Year Everyone! :D

Female Beatboxer - Sophia Beatbox Part9

THAT'S GIRL POWER MAN!!!!
Check out her other clips.

Beatbox-Beardy Man

Man, amazing.

Beatbox - Felix Zenger

THIS is good stuff.

I'm watching YOU

you wish.

I'm done with my boring routine.
and I suddenly thought of this.

GOOGLE EARTH!! :D

what could be more interesting than this ? ooi-yeoo will agree ;)
oh, spot tiny Malaysia =]






Call me ignorant, but I never knew the existance of 'Pulau babi besar'.
So there's a tiny unnamed island above 'Pulau tioman'. I shall discover that and I'll start my own country over there, and it shall be named 'Emmericaa'!!
what do you think ;) ?




Then i found Newcastle, Aus.

More specifically, North Lambton =]

Ahhh,..so it looks like that from above.. hrmmm...

Next destination. My personal favourite. More like a 'dream place'.

Venice. 'The city of Water' . What a magnificent view.

Nice. =]

Look! It is shaped like a 'fish' . No wonder it's gonna sink, Because it's a FISH. It's time to get back into the water!

Don't know if I'll ever get there.

(please don't sink first :[ )

Then I wanna go here. Paris. ^-^

'The city of Lights' and, Romance ;)


And then here. Just for the tech & Culture! =P

And of course, here :]

Meanwhile, lets just look at maps . hahah.

Well,...

"It's a small world after all~!! "

..

.

yeah right.

Psalm 51:1-4

1.Have mercy on me O God,
because of your unfailing love
Because of your great compassion
blot out the stain of my sins
2.Wash me clean from my guilt
purify me from my sin
3.For I recognize my shameful deeds
they haunt me day and night
4.Against you, and you alone, have I sinned.
I have done what is evil in your sight
You will be proved right in what you say
& your judgement against me is just.

@#$%^&*#$^!!!!!!!

omg. i promise you this ISN'T paranoia. but Where the heck is everyone???!!!

I am so bloody frustrated I can kill.




silence is deafening.

''being with you is like being allergic to water. ''

I found my emo-half (Ponytail Parades by Emery)

Three sleepless nights
This isn't how it's supposed to be
But you're so good at taking your time
To give back to me

I will wait for you forever
If you would just ask me
I thought that I could change you
But you changed me

But it doesn't feel right
Holding someone else's hand
Together on phone lines
And living at two opposite ends
It scares me to think that you could find takers
Other than me and better than me

But your head is elsewhere
And I'm talking enough for both of us
When will you see it's not so easy for me

You're careless and whispered
Insulting and bruising

And I thought that you said
Things were improving
These laces are untied
But my feet are walking away
(I fall from your eyes. Your eyes I trusted. You said forever)
I never thought you could say these words
Is this really happening
(don't say that we can still be friends)
Erase my name from this page
How can you take all these days
(what is inside me, what have I done)
And throw them away,
(is this the only way that you will notice me)
As I sit here waiting for you
(dead words for closed ears, all this is sung for you)
I stay up nights
(if you are still pretending this is what's right)
Until stars leave the sky
(why can you look at me can you only see)
Knowing what my dreams can take away
(sides, your side, can take away)

Walk away from me
This night is done

blessed Christmas everyone =]

24th Dec

It has always been you making me proud, but never the other way round.

Im sorry I didn't turn out the way you want me to.

I'm sorry that your friends' child do so well in school and always make them proud but because of me, you can never experience such pride.

You had only one chance in raising me up and yet you did it so well.

I am sorry I should be looking after you now but you are still doing the job.

I am sorry I still make you worry so much.

I've been so dependent on you I can't imagine what I'd do without you.

I am sorry I never appreciate the things you've done for me, instead I get so angry at you because of what you didn't provide me.

Things only got worse when I had to go against you because of what i believe,
and because of that it hurts so much that I feel so connected to you yet so far away from you.

I know i've disappoint you countless times and I've upset you.

So today, I wanna let you know,
I am sorry again because I am not going to pursue what you want me to.
I won't want to pursue wealth.
I won't want to pursue status.
I won't want to pursue fame.
because if I do, this will make you happy.
I am sorry, I don't want to make you happy.

because I love you.

and because i love you, I don't want to just make you happy.
I want so much more for you.
I don't want just happiness for you,
I want happiness that is everlasting for you.
I want salvation for you.

I believe ..
..there will be that day where we can just talk about anything under the sky.
there will be that day where we will say grace together.
there will be that day where we will make godly decisions together.
and there will be that day where we will celebrate the true meaning of christmas together.


though you will never understand now, but I believe you will one day.

and I am not giving up,..
..even if that consumes me.
because i love you.

and that, is what I will do for you.

Happy birthday mummy.

love,
your beloved daughter.

L is for..

L- Lost
O- Of
V- Valuable
E- Energy



don't agree?
go give yourself a try ;)

You gotta read this

because I wrote this.
BUT I was 17 years then, back in form 5.

I was browsing through my highschool year book MGS Identiti 2003 , (emo as usual) and I found this. Classic.


Kerana Engkau (Pg 69)
- Eccentric-me

Keindahan yang kumiliki,
Kesempurnaan yang kurasai,
Lenyap.. dalam saat yang tidak pernah kunanti
Bagaikan kehilangan sinar cahaya,
yang selama ini menjadi pergantungan

kau melangkah pergi,
bersama harapan yang selama ini kucurahkan
hanya kecaian memori yang kau tinggalkan

hatiku takut, badanku lemas..
Aku merangkak dalam kegelapan,
berbekalkan harapan yang menjanjikan kekecewaan,
mencari sinar yang ada,
hanya.. kebingungan yang memenuhi diriku,
.. Kau sudah tiada..

Namun, saat-saat perit, tetap kulalui..
hanya bayang-bayang diri menjadi teman seperjuangan..
Mentari yang pernah dihilangkan,
Kini aku mencari kembali.

Kerana engkau, aku tumbang..
dan kerana engkau jugalah, aku bangkit semula..



fuyohh. i can't believe i actually wrote that.


Direct Translation :

The bliss/beauty I once own,
The perfection i once felt,
Vanish in just a second that i've never waited/hoped for.
Seems like I've lost the source of light,
that I've been dependent on all these while.

You walked away,
Along with hopes that I've poured in all these while
And all that you've left me behind with is just bits of memories.

I'm scared..
And I feel weak..
I crawl in darkness,
as I bear hopes with promised disappointments,
I look for a ray of light..
But nothingness fills me,
now that you're gone.

Despite that, I still go through the times of sufferings,
With my shadow as my only 'faithful companion' .
The sunlight that was once lost,
I found it back.

It is because of you that I fell apart,
but it is also because of you that I got myself back up.

..

(somewords I just can't describe it in english, it's just too powerful. *chehwah* well. i guess the point is, you jz gotta appreciate the significance of bahasa melayu ;) )


Words in which held so much more meaning than just what is translated.

Keindahan: Extremely beautiful, magnificent
Kesempurnaan : Contentment/Perfect and just right/Flawless.
berbekalkan: bearing something/something that you actually carry with/bring along.
kebingungan: Lost/clueless/ mental breakdown.
teman seperjuangan: describes ppl who go thru good&hard times with u (ex: friends at the army)
tumbang: usually describing how a tree fall. (now, .... imagine that)
bangkit: more like "resurrect". You die and you wake up again. (uhuh, very strong word)

Which is why you cannot really translate them.
Ahh, the significance of BM. So much meaning in a word.

haha, i feel like i am giving lessons. hehe.

just let me syok for while laaa..



I actually thought, THOUGHT of pursuing Bahasa melayu.
crazy.


I wonder sometimes, what if i really did?

Saya malaysian-lahh

Had a 'mamak' session with m.kuan today. again =P.

yeah, what else can we do in klang, right.

oh anyway, i was craving for 'shin chan' comic book!!!but all sold in chinese urghh!

i want bahasa melayu translation lah!!! it's so hard to find one. so sad.

in the end ended up in 7-eleven. and i was soooo desperate for a comic book that i just bought this :

Kirana Cinta pertama! hahah! (the 7-eleven 'Abang' recomended ok. he said cunnnn)

omg i cant wait to read.

then... I tak puas . Went all the way to 'kedai runcit hemma' haha, lame i know. still in the hunt for 'shin chan' ..

we found tikam machine! classic.

mkuan gatal wanna tikam. then i kiasu,

it's just 50 cents. so i also tikam

omg mkuan is so lame she wanted this monsters. but i told her it's so ugly, so she found something else, some torch light ring. she said its cool. then she spent RM1.00 just to tikam again, but poor her, she got a ball instead. hahahah.

this is why we call this machine a tikam machine cuz you will not necessary get whtever the

picture shows. you gotta try your 'luck'.

i was in the mood today. So i spent unnecessarily.

RM 6.50 -comic

RM 0.50 - Tikam

RM 0.20 - APOLLO

RM 0.20 - Se7en candy

RM 1.60 - BIKA snack

RM 9.00 = 3.00 AUD for so many things leh.

Happy-Lahh !!

nyekk nyekk nyekk.

Spot the 'se7en' candy. 5 bucks for whoever who can spot that.

the egg thing that i tikam-ed. apparently it's called the 'crystal baby' .

you put some water in it then it will grow and multiply..

it's the 'in' thing right now. apparently.

'crystal babies'

omg. it grew.

ok actually its the same concept as the 'fertilizer' crystal balls. i don't even know why i bother tikam-ing. so lebih.


there, instead of using soil. you use this.

hrmmm.. nowadays,.. nowadays.....


Unwrapped the book. and lets see, if this is gonna be a good book.

and first chapter of the book..

'spring girl'.

hrmmmm..............

I suka -lah ;)

nyahahhahahahaha!!!

dishwalla - collide

The tunnel

.......and you're more than halfway through in this tunnel. A tunnel that links from one place to another. In this case, from the past to the future. So you're walking through this dark path. You can't see anything. All these because you decided you wanted to grow out of your past and move on. You can't see what is ahead. You are so afraid and you never felt so alone before. Right now, you are almost regretting each step you take. You are at the verge of giving up. You pause and look back. You have a strong urge to run back towards where you first started. But it's too late, because it's been quite a journey. The future is too intimidating & uncertain, yet the past is too dark you don't wanna go back. You are left with no choice. So you channel all your thoughts to Him and you focus ahead. You take in a deep breath and you continue your journey through this never ending tunnel. And by faith, you continue to walk.. and you walk...

:]

midvalley

Elicia: omg jie,... i just found the perfect shop for you!

me : no way.

???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you love

.....

..And in July a lemonade,
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health.
But more than wealth,
I wish you love.


My breaking heart and I agree,
That you and I could never be
So with my best,
My very best,

I set you free...


-Rachael Yamagata

Dreams

Dreams are not meant to be fulfilled. And if you are able to fulfil your 'dream', it is not a dream in the first place.

what makes a dream A DREAM, and what makes A DREAM something we want so badly, is simply because it is unachievable. and it HAS to be. We very often end up doing stuff that we dont like and never dreamt of doing , and never had the passion for.
And very often you hear

" i never wanted to do this course at the first place, it's something else tht i've always dreamt of doing."

" i hate this job that I'm doing, if i had the chance, i would have done that..cuz tht was my dream job"

" my ultimate dream, is to be there..right THERE "

I guess the whole point of having a dream is because, it is simply unattainable. And i guess that's what makes A DREAM So.....


significant.




unfulfilled dream. is like..
sweet misery..

it's MISERABLE. cuz you can't fulfill it. but it's SWEET. cuz you LOVE your dream and you Love how it is so unattainable and for some reasons you love dwelling on the 'what ifs..' and 'if onlys"...over and over again.

significant huh?


sweet misery.
oh, what sweet contradiction.


man, i love it.






p/s- You dream fulfillers *roll eyes* out there, You need not take this entry seriously.)



*Entry contain sprinkled bitterness & sadisism. Author's going through a series of emotions.

today

-piano
-'yao cha kuai'

-Church with munkhea! =) (Gosh, the pastor reminds me of you, ERIC CHAN! if you're reading this. I was the only crazee one laughing non-stop cuz you both have the SAME accent and sound the SAME! "halleluuuuujahhh!" haa!
It's as if fast-fwd 20 years and you're in front there preaching. haha!
I actually went up to him and ask if you're his son!!
man, he is REALLY funny.

-what a way to bum into you, Mich T. of all places. Church huh?

-I'm no longer youth!!!!AAahhHHhhhhh......... (Man, the kids has grown up so much..)
-curry noodles (hopefully not the last time)
-short nap (a forced one, thanks to uhhrmm..)
-baskin robbins (AGAIN, i knw)
-quality time with Mich T ( Very good catch up. We had a good laugh, aye?)
-nasi lemak AND roti kosong at ONCE (YES...... that explains ..)
-on-line
-ryl??? CALL ME will you????
-back to virus -____-''



urgh.


Ask me out, someone. ANYONE!!! *in desperate tone*

old-town, baskin-robbins,mamak..

"Friendships often end in love, but LOVE in friendships- never."


..is all I have to say for tonight.



p/s- I love you all so very much. =)

miss-takes?

you sacrifice something you already have in order to have something else that you know is worth it. But after that, you realize you can't really have it afterall.

In the end, you realize you just lost everything.
..


..and you think again, if it's worth it afterall.

masak-masak

I really miss those times.

and why am i missing you two so much.

you know I am so lost right now..=(

faster come back.

sigh...

-____-

10 months

This song pretty much summarizes what I have to say, for this whole year.

..

I'll tell you flat out
it hurts so much to think of this
so from my thoughts I will exclude
this very thing that I hate more than everything is
the way I'm powerless to dictate my own moods


I've thrown away
so many things that could've been much more
and I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored
but that's not the way it works
no that's not the way it works



when I go down
I go down hard
and I take everything I've learned
and teach myself some disregard

when I go down
it hurts to hit the bottom
and of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them


If and when I can
clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
into a place where
peace can search me out and find
that I'm so ready to be found



I've thrown away
the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
so many things that could have been much more

I've thrown away the secret to find an end to this
and I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored
but that's not the way it works
no that's not the way it works


Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
while my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
reprimands me
then and there
I confess I'll blame all this on my selfishness
yet You love me
and that consumes me
and I'll stand up again and do so willingly


You give me hope,
and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart,
and when You do You make it light
as I exhale I hear Your voice

and I answer You,
though I hardly make a noise
and from my lips,
the words I choose to say seem pathetic,
but it's a fallen man's praise
because I love You
oh God, I love You

and life is now worth living if only because of You
and when they say I'm dead and gone
it won't be further from the truth


When I go down
I lift my eyes up to You
I won't look very far cause You'll be there with open arms
to lift me up again
to lift me up again


Relient K- When i go down

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANOTHER time someone mention 'FAT' or 'BIG' or just simply STARE at ME with ASTONISHMENT in anyway, I promise I will so ROAR at your FACE!

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.









for now.

grrr..

One after another

When will this end?
I've done what I could.
I've done what I can.

So is this what You will for me?
And am I expected to just accept this.

Cuz really, all I wanna do now is just point fingers at You.
and scream "I HATE YOU!" out loud.

You DONT exist.

No, wait.

You do.

cuz I heard You.
I heard You just last sunday.

You spoke through Pastor Tony from his sermon.
I remember.
"Faith is learning to trust God in the dark, in the unknowing,& in apparent failure."
I wont deny how hard it is to live up to this. At least, right now.

Was that a warning beforehand?
Cuz I am not prepared.
Cuz I never knew it would be this hard until I had to go through this myself.

... cuz I felt I've lost faith.


I don't understand Your ways.
and I blame You for all that I am going through right now.
because I am sick and tired of all these.
and I could only take in so much.



but You said..

"..he (Job) is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you (satan) incited me against him to ruin him without any reason"
-Job 2:3-

I wanna be like Job too...
i really do.
I wanna trust You with all my heart.
and I shouldnt be blaming You, instead continue to praise you.
With fear, reverence, and worship, I wanna serve You for who You are and not for what You may give me.

"suffering has a humbling role" .
I never understood how is that so.





..

But now I do.