You gotta read this

because I wrote this.
BUT I was 17 years then, back in form 5.

I was browsing through my highschool year book MGS Identiti 2003 , (emo as usual) and I found this. Classic.


Kerana Engkau (Pg 69)
- Eccentric-me

Keindahan yang kumiliki,
Kesempurnaan yang kurasai,
Lenyap.. dalam saat yang tidak pernah kunanti
Bagaikan kehilangan sinar cahaya,
yang selama ini menjadi pergantungan

kau melangkah pergi,
bersama harapan yang selama ini kucurahkan
hanya kecaian memori yang kau tinggalkan

hatiku takut, badanku lemas..
Aku merangkak dalam kegelapan,
berbekalkan harapan yang menjanjikan kekecewaan,
mencari sinar yang ada,
hanya.. kebingungan yang memenuhi diriku,
.. Kau sudah tiada..

Namun, saat-saat perit, tetap kulalui..
hanya bayang-bayang diri menjadi teman seperjuangan..
Mentari yang pernah dihilangkan,
Kini aku mencari kembali.

Kerana engkau, aku tumbang..
dan kerana engkau jugalah, aku bangkit semula..



fuyohh. i can't believe i actually wrote that.


Direct Translation :

The bliss/beauty I once own,
The perfection i once felt,
Vanish in just a second that i've never waited/hoped for.
Seems like I've lost the source of light,
that I've been dependent on all these while.

You walked away,
Along with hopes that I've poured in all these while
And all that you've left me behind with is just bits of memories.

I'm scared..
And I feel weak..
I crawl in darkness,
as I bear hopes with promised disappointments,
I look for a ray of light..
But nothingness fills me,
now that you're gone.

Despite that, I still go through the times of sufferings,
With my shadow as my only 'faithful companion' .
The sunlight that was once lost,
I found it back.

It is because of you that I fell apart,
but it is also because of you that I got myself back up.

..

(somewords I just can't describe it in english, it's just too powerful. *chehwah* well. i guess the point is, you jz gotta appreciate the significance of bahasa melayu ;) )


Words in which held so much more meaning than just what is translated.

Keindahan: Extremely beautiful, magnificent
Kesempurnaan : Contentment/Perfect and just right/Flawless.
berbekalkan: bearing something/something that you actually carry with/bring along.
kebingungan: Lost/clueless/ mental breakdown.
teman seperjuangan: describes ppl who go thru good&hard times with u (ex: friends at the army)
tumbang: usually describing how a tree fall. (now, .... imagine that)
bangkit: more like "resurrect". You die and you wake up again. (uhuh, very strong word)

Which is why you cannot really translate them.
Ahh, the significance of BM. So much meaning in a word.

haha, i feel like i am giving lessons. hehe.

just let me syok for while laaa..



I actually thought, THOUGHT of pursuing Bahasa melayu.
crazy.


I wonder sometimes, what if i really did?