I've done what I could.
I've done what I can.
So is this what You will for me?
And am I expected to just accept this.
Cuz really, all I wanna do now is just point fingers at You.
and scream "I HATE YOU!" out loud.
You DONT exist.
No, wait.
You do.
cuz I heard You.
I heard You just last sunday.
You spoke through Pastor Tony from his sermon.
I remember.
"Faith is learning to trust God in the dark, in the unknowing,& in apparent failure."
I wont deny how hard it is to live up to this. At least, right now.
Was that a warning beforehand?
Cuz I am not prepared.
Cuz I never knew it would be this hard until I had to go through this myself.
... cuz I felt I've lost faith.
I don't understand Your ways.
and I blame You for all that I am going through right now.
because I am sick and tired of all these.
and I could only take in so much.
but You said..
"..he (Job) is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you (satan) incited me against him to ruin him without any reason"
-Job 2:3-
I wanna be like Job too...
i really do.
I wanna trust You with all my heart.
and I shouldnt be blaming You, instead continue to praise you.
With fear, reverence, and worship, I wanna serve You for who You are and not for what You may give me.
"suffering has a humbling role" .
I never understood how is that so.
..
But now I do.
1 comment:
What I've been through 2 years ago and even now (the shadow of it), is just like Job. That doesnt mean I lose my sons, my properties.. but basically I lost EVERYTHING because the Satan tested God and wants me to be drawn away from Him.
he almost succeeded but didn't. I was at the lowest point in my life but I obeyed Him.
Emme, though I don't know what's on with you. But if I can do it, you can do better! Have a great day.
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