God = Love

Did a one-on-one bible reading with J.shi today,our usual on wednesdays.

We proceeded with 1 John 4:7. "God's love and ours"



We were going through the passage and this verse struck me, again.
"We love because He first loved us" 1John4:19.
And it reminds me of my first few encounters with God.

Oh yea, this is one of the first few basics of christianity and some of you would have known this verse by heart.
But this verse serves as one of my most prominent life altering moment.

I grew up with the understanding that love exist. And by nature, i do love as well.
And all these while, especially for those who know me really well, know that I love with all my heart, and I give up my all, just for love. Having to go through every single thing regardless of what I had to sacrifice, I would. And all for the sake of love.

Untill at one point I started questioning, Why was I the only one who is able to love 100% and give in 101% when it comes to this person I love, and often I ended up in frustrations. I thought all these while, I was the only one who is able to love that much. And I even thought of how much I've done just for love and NO ONE can love this much. All these eventually led to pride.

I became so self-righteous in love.


"We love because He first loved us" 1 John 4:19
And it really struck me hard. What was I even thinking? How was I even able to love if it weren't for Him. What love was I even talking about. Where did it even come from?


Let's look at how the bible describe Love :

"Love is patient,love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4.

Love does not boast. But I fail that one.
Love is not proud. I fail that too.
Love is not self-seeking. Where I have been.
Love is not easily angered. Countless times where love was never returned.
Love does not envy. And I envy just as much.
Love always trusts. This, I fail half the time.
Love never fails. .. ......


I fail to love. I did.



I can never live up to this expectation. The true definition of love.
After all these years of being so righteous bout love.
First of all, I was abled by Him to Love and without Him I am nothing. and I will not even be given the privilege to know what Love is like. But there I was, talking and preaching about Love, just as the world did. About how much effort I have been putting in and the sacrifices I have made when it comes to love and how much I understood love.



oh how little did i know.


It is not I who s sacrificed, it is not I who s loved so much. I never did. I never could have. Because I am imperfect.

It is He who loved so much. It is He who gave His only Son. It is Jesus who has sacrificed. It is He who is able to give His love 100%. He is God and God is love. The true definition of Love.



I was blind. But now I see. It is just so overwhelming and comforting to know that there is a perfect Love although we are living in a broken world. Relationships don't lasts and love often fail us and all these because of sin. But be still and know that there is a God who offers love, a love so perfect and everlasting.

It is through Jesus now that I am able to love.


And I can never thank Him enough for this :)

M. I. C. K. E. Y. .. M. O .U .S. E lalalaaa..

YES.


except that his name is not mickey.






i present you..
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Pinkeyyyyy.!. (eh,i suka-lah...)


my subject for today :)


This is not the 'before' picture.





Ok, the story begin like this, we were suppose to dissect a mouse and i was getting all excited~ and when the demonstrator showed us how to go about it, and i thought that's it, i am not doin this. It's too cruel.

Fortunately, we don't have to kill the mice. The mice has been killed,for us -__-''


My partner sp, was late,and I ended up having to do the 'surgery' alone. fuyohhh. *feeling like a surgeon*


Since we are not allowed to hold on to anything that will be go out of the lab, ie handphones, (to avoid contamination) I did it anyway :D

But see, i changed my gloves a couple of times all for the sake of the pictures and since i was sitting at the back row,Alone.as usual.*sobsob *.. NO ONE COULD SEE ME.

AND I secretly took out my hp . he he he.





This is messy. I didn't have the opportunity to take the 'before' picture, because this lab assistant, (chinese malaysian girl) was so afraid that I'll freak out alone with the mouse and she kept looking at me handling the mouse, and telling me what to do.which was quite helpful,quite.


We had to cut off the two limbs, and then try to remove the muscles and tissues as clean as possible so that we will be left with the bones. (yeah, we are suppose to extract the bone marrow)




and this is supposingly the 'after' picture. When the two limbs are cut off.





and this is the bone. after all the hard work.
(It tends to be less scary when it becomes a job)





And i dont have the picture when i was flushing out the bone marrow. BecauseTheGirlWasWatchingMe,again. So basically, the bone marrow is in the bone duhh and we had to inject some media solution into the bone cavity with a syringe and then flush the bone marrow out, until the bone look transparent.



muscle tissues everywhere... eeeeEEEeeeeee



The fur is so soft ... i actually further skinned the mouse and i wanted to bring this home but got scolded by some of them :(








Haemocytometer.
This. was after everything. Had to do cell counting under the microscope.
Had to post this up, cuz I injected the sample under the glass. what a perfect square ^-^'' ahhh...
(for those who don't quite understand, that's fine. Just feel the joy and satisfaction with me
^-^)

And after the whole satisfaction thing and all..
No, i haven't changed my mind. I am still NOT for lab work after degree.


Started at 2pm and finished at 5.30pm. -__-
Not good.



Proceeded to AIC after that, (wanted to be a hero,again) thinking i could continue with my next assignment.


And those killers. i never bought them. (I'm broke, remember?) STILL, someone has to distribute them. !!!joyce!!!!
ahh..I can never run away from them. Now you see where the source of my fats .





and No, I'm not at Uni. I left.
I'm blogging at home, i needed to do something 'non-academic' :)

......

Dear God,
Help me to be still, yet not quiet.
to be firm, yet not harsh.
to be gentle, yet not soft.
to be understanding, yet not compromising.
to be confident, yet not proud.
to be honest, yet not offensive.
to be principled, yet not judgmental.

God, change me.

Lately.

I've been thinking alot..

..
yeah...

.
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.
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.
.
.
.

that's all.

Thank you!!!=D

Just got my parcel today!!!

look what i've got to accompany spring!!!!!!!!

weeehee.

very fantasy-like. I like it.


saddistic. i know. haha. but check out that freaked -out carrot!.so kute!

My personal fav ;)

Those are t shirts from threadless, anyway

(Courtesy of cheryl g =P )

And, my belated gift. just in time for summer! ;) Thank you ryl. mwwahhhhHH!

oO la la...

eating left over sushi s made by ze while posting up these. so, might as well. -_-

still hungry.

-__-"

and i found you =)

Got my hair trimmed!


and got conned into buying 2 products, one shampoo and conditioner (because she said I'll get a free treatment cream, buy 2 free 1)

ok,shut up.

and then ..since i was in jezzo already, might as well just do some window shopping!


..was strolling ...


..



and for the first time i believe in love at first sight!


check her out. ;)





and we hooked up




who says jezzo's an uncool place to hang out. =P


you neva know.

There goes

i know i know. I will study hard, and smart ok daddy.

Shouldn't have.

switchfoot's- learning to breathe=nostalgic.


super emo today.

melting moments.

I was at FOCUS talking with fellow brothers and sisters when all of a sudden, Elliot, (Dene's 2 year old i think, son) came up to me and asked. "Are you happy today?"

I was caught off guard. And i didn't know why he asked me that, but i just said "yeah, i am happy.. why?"..

**gasps**

Then i remembered.

Last week, i remembered talking to little Elliot and i told him i was unhappy and he gave me his toy. And today, he actually remembered and he asked me again, out of concern!

omygoodness.
he is the sweetest little kid you've ever seen.
I gave him a hugeee hug... and i really almost, teared.

And you know what makes my heart sink..
The fact that even a little boy remembers and he is so sensitive bout feelings, when you'll be suprise how some grown up (friends, im talking bout in particular) dont even give one crap bout u.

i quote j.shi '' who needs a bf when a little boy itself can make your heart melt and go awwww.... !?''

Infact they do it better.

human nature.

I want what i can't have,
I need what i don't want.



Slap me, somebody.

trigger 1

"Nobody's perfect"

You hear that everywhere.
And without a doubt you know that's true.

But have you ever thought why is that so?

monotonous.

It's been a long time since I last hit the gym.
until Thursday's body combat.
Then i realised how slacked I've been.
Cuz I'm still so sore. -_-''

but its been 3 days -__-

I'm aging.
It must be it.


Been in AIC (24Hrs com lab) the whole day, trying to get to know my viruses better.
pretending I am very much into them, and ..decided that I want to spend a bit more time, this time.
Nonono, I mean, I am. I really am interested... sometimes. u know? but, maybe just not today.



I know.
my life's pretty mundane.

nothing much, except that..


I'm another day older? 0_o

20+1

Being 21 means
receiving the so-called KEY.


being 21 means
the beginning of adulthood.

being 21 means
being away from home.

being 21 means
I can make my own decisions.


being 21 means
4 years of driving experience.


being 21 means
bearing the consequences of my own.


being 21 means
I am expected to do so much more.


being 21 means
I can vote.

being 21 means
I am no longer a kid.

being 21 means
I am supposed to be graduating.


being 21 means
taking up responsibilities.


being 21 means
I am a lady.


being 21 means
being at the peak of beauty. (supposedly -_-'')


being 21 means
been under comfort zone for 21 years.


being 21 means
time to look after and to return a favor to mummy & daddy.


being 21 means
having a whole new different perspective.


being 21 means

Still studying.
Still being bombarded with exams.


being 21 means
lived more than 2 decades.

being 21 means
Gaining weight.


being 21 means
having to be a lil' more serious.

being 21 means
accountability.


being 21 means
falling and pulling myself up again.


being 21 means
persevering.


being 21 means
knowing who my true friends are.


being 21 means
not having you in the picture.


being 21 means
being surrounded with overwhelming emotions.


being 21 means
Letting go of the past.


being 21 means
I am truly blessed.

Of the same blood

You love to sing.

You cannot resist tv. And you really cannot.

You dont like maths.

You hate socializing but you can never run away from it.

You're mummy's girl. You've always been.

You always lose when we both argue but your tears never fail to save you a victory in the end.

You expect presents from me everytime, but i disappoint you countless times.

You are reluctant to drink warm soup, you love it hot that it burns your tongue.

When you were 6 you hurt your thumb and you had to put on a plaster but after a week when it was removed, it looked disgusting, and thts when you stopped sucking your thumb.

You want a big sister who can drive you around, but i failed, that one.

You hate when i practice my pieces but you love me playing Only to accompany your singing.

You think I am too lame for a big sister but you laugh hard at my jokes.

You decided that you are taller because you said my lengthy body doesnt count as height.

You take hours choosing your clothes for occasions but you ended up borrowing mine.

You said "I wish i had an older sister" to me.

You keep my secrets tight.

You had a thought that i am hardworking but slow while you are smart but lazy. And you laughed.

You dream to be a singer.

You had boys confessing to you and the way you freaked out cracks me up.

You make me choose your ICPU subjects and you said you trust me.



..and now

You're worried about economics and struggle a fair bit.

You put on some weight and you skipped lunch.

You made two new good friends and one look just like you.

You turn 18, but it felt like you never went pass 8.

You use some words that I dont even know the meaning of.

You have a new collection of accessories that you're yet to show me.

You are more confident now and you tend to socialize more these days

Your latest obsession is foosball and you are practising on your skills.

You attend your first concert.

You got a whole list of your new favourite singers in your new iPod mini.

You got your P licence and you can drive.

Your have a different style and choice of dressing now.

You are probably taller now.

You have matured into a beautiful young lady.




I used to count the days when you will be old enough and we will be more compatible.

Everything didnt just stop the day i left.

Time resumes.
And you moved ahead.

Infact, you moved too fast,


...And I missed this whole important episode...

YAY!

WohOOoooO!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!

SPPRRRRRRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X)

happy=D



Dafodils anyone??

out of mind

I am gradually becoming the exact opposite of someone i thought i'd be when i grow up.

science.religion.nature.black tea.missions.chocolate.acoustic guitar.vegies.politics.cooking.books.

..SINCE WHEN???!!


and I am developing an intense passion for history.
HISTORY?!

This is tragedy.


leech will so be proud of me but ;)

and oh!

AMAZING GRACE rawked!

now what Em? slave trade ?
err,....maybe? ^-^''

wtv.go away.

200803

nobody said it was easy.

left unsaid

I have so much to tell you
I need to share this with you
you know i can't make decisions on my own.
I need you to know.
I don't know what's going on.
you chose to shut off.
And I try hard not to think about it.
We both desperately want to know.
As much as everything from within is dying to be let known,
It has to be contained.

Deceived

Glucose = Sugar.

Sugar free = [Sucrose -> Glucose + Fructose]

Sugar free = Free sugar

..oh dear

Say NO to sugar free!
-_-"


Indeed, we are living in a life full of disguise.

Spot on

http://www.xanga.com/ezZtherR/608717420/i-dont-like-biscuits.html


And i thought i was the only one "over-doing" it.