old-town, baskin-robbins,mamak..

"Friendships often end in love, but LOVE in friendships- never."


..is all I have to say for tonight.



p/s- I love you all so very much. =)

miss-takes?

you sacrifice something you already have in order to have something else that you know is worth it. But after that, you realize you can't really have it afterall.

In the end, you realize you just lost everything.
..


..and you think again, if it's worth it afterall.

masak-masak

I really miss those times.

and why am i missing you two so much.

you know I am so lost right now..=(

faster come back.

sigh...

-____-

10 months

This song pretty much summarizes what I have to say, for this whole year.

..

I'll tell you flat out
it hurts so much to think of this
so from my thoughts I will exclude
this very thing that I hate more than everything is
the way I'm powerless to dictate my own moods


I've thrown away
so many things that could've been much more
and I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored
but that's not the way it works
no that's not the way it works



when I go down
I go down hard
and I take everything I've learned
and teach myself some disregard

when I go down
it hurts to hit the bottom
and of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them


If and when I can
clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
into a place where
peace can search me out and find
that I'm so ready to be found



I've thrown away
the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
so many things that could have been much more

I've thrown away the secret to find an end to this
and I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored
but that's not the way it works
no that's not the way it works


Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
while my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
reprimands me
then and there
I confess I'll blame all this on my selfishness
yet You love me
and that consumes me
and I'll stand up again and do so willingly


You give me hope,
and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart,
and when You do You make it light
as I exhale I hear Your voice

and I answer You,
though I hardly make a noise
and from my lips,
the words I choose to say seem pathetic,
but it's a fallen man's praise
because I love You
oh God, I love You

and life is now worth living if only because of You
and when they say I'm dead and gone
it won't be further from the truth


When I go down
I lift my eyes up to You
I won't look very far cause You'll be there with open arms
to lift me up again
to lift me up again


Relient K- When i go down

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANOTHER time someone mention 'FAT' or 'BIG' or just simply STARE at ME with ASTONISHMENT in anyway, I promise I will so ROAR at your FACE!

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.









for now.

grrr..

One after another

When will this end?
I've done what I could.
I've done what I can.

So is this what You will for me?
And am I expected to just accept this.

Cuz really, all I wanna do now is just point fingers at You.
and scream "I HATE YOU!" out loud.

You DONT exist.

No, wait.

You do.

cuz I heard You.
I heard You just last sunday.

You spoke through Pastor Tony from his sermon.
I remember.
"Faith is learning to trust God in the dark, in the unknowing,& in apparent failure."
I wont deny how hard it is to live up to this. At least, right now.

Was that a warning beforehand?
Cuz I am not prepared.
Cuz I never knew it would be this hard until I had to go through this myself.

... cuz I felt I've lost faith.


I don't understand Your ways.
and I blame You for all that I am going through right now.
because I am sick and tired of all these.
and I could only take in so much.



but You said..

"..he (Job) is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you (satan) incited me against him to ruin him without any reason"
-Job 2:3-

I wanna be like Job too...
i really do.
I wanna trust You with all my heart.
and I shouldnt be blaming You, instead continue to praise you.
With fear, reverence, and worship, I wanna serve You for who You are and not for what You may give me.

"suffering has a humbling role" .
I never understood how is that so.





..

But now I do.

Diggin' into the past

F.I.R. - 我們的愛
Used to be my fav band.
Because of their unique genre. Contemporary+Classical+baroque. Very creative combination. Not so much in this song, probably in 'LYDIA'.
Never bother finding out the meaning to the lyrics, but I guess the videoClip says it all.
i like ;)

20kgs only

WHATT!!!!!???

oh well.
I'll see what I can do.

grrrr...

Alone. (This is when)

And again, walking down the same street.
With trails of the same ol' intoxicating fragrance.
And in the stillness of the night,
I see stars, my only companion.

Surrounded by intimidating darkness,
Yet, I engage myself in silence.
And for what seems like eternity,
I spend alone, in blissfulness.

Moved in here.
3 days now.
Surrounded by not a single soul.
Again, I succumb to silence.
Well, here I am, alone again.
Why does it feels so good?

Because this is when,
I could be vulnerable.
Because this is when,
I am needy.

Because this is when
I am free from everything worldly.
Because this is when,
I will be found.
Because this is when,
I turn to You.
Because being Alone is when I'll find comfort in You.

It feels so right none can fathom,
This is the best place in the world,
to be alone with You and Only You.
Because this is when we reconcile.
Because this is when I know I can trust You.

Because this is when I'll fall before You,

and to realize I am not forsaken, instead I am forgiven.
And knowing I am still Yours & You forever mine.

-Eccentric-me.

that i would be good

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing
that I would be loved even when I numb myself

that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy
that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good whether with or without you

-Alanis Morissette

The truth

And I've collected all these thoughts
And I'm dying just to lose them
And if your words are true or not
I'll die trying to prove them
But I'll just have to accept
That my mind is so inept
And the only thing that's left
For me to do is to trust you

Convince me
Because I really need your help
Oh convince me
Because I can't see this for myself

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence
Begging for the proof
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

This is so unnerving
I know you've never lied to me before
But the things you're telling me
I can't yet believe
Yet can't ignore
But I'll just have to accept
That my mind is so inept
And the only thing that's left
For me is to trust you

Put the emphasis on the evidence
Begging for the proof
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

It's a world full of cynics
Who say to stay alive in it
You gotta stick with what you know
But the soul is always aching
For the heart to start taking
A chance by letting go

So let go
Let go
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth
Attempt to place our lives into your hands
Confide in what you'll do
Cause sometimes when you're trying to sleep
And all your doubts and your faith don't agree its cause
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

-Relient k

love101

It almost seems like i am pursuing sociology majoring in boy/girl relationships degree in Uni. Probably a double degree in 'feminism' as well. ;) Too much hanging out with jshi (*wink*)& focus ppl. (not a bad thing, infact we manage to come up with a few pretty interesting theories)

I won't go through every theory but J.shi came up with something i find worth pondering.

1) Girls always fall for 'jerks'.

Not jerks as in JERKS but more like imperfect guys, the one who doesnt meet every criterias in her checklists.

eg:"I will never date someone who is not a gentleman."

"A guy who swears is a big turn off"

"I will never be with a guy who throw tantrums"

"I will never be with someone who doesnt remember important dates"

"I hate rude guys"

"He is such a slacker, no way I'll ever fall for him"

...and yet she breaks all rules.

Why?

because during the period of loving a 'jerk' , you develop patience, so so much of them.. because it is not self-seeking to love someone who doesnt meet your wants/requirements/checklist and so you tend to love unselfishly. You learn to not boast, and because he is such a 'jerk' , you then develop perseverence altogether.

Wow, sounding so much like the true definition of Love.

Indeed.

The ultimate love is very hard to achieve.

because if the perfect guy ever exists, you'd probably not develop all the above mentioned.

In conclusion, girls always fall for 'jerks', and just don't mind going through so much and putting up with all the crap.

Because only through that can LOVE exist.



So yeah. Who's to say loving a 'jerk' is a bad thing?

Long walk home

Finding myself in a place i've never been
where i don't know myself or anyone else
I can dream about the past or i can just let it go
I lost track of time five days ago
What is it about you that makes me want to stay
Is it all the love or is it just the pain

Don't leave me now we've come too far
just to set our eyes on a new star
i'll ride on clouds til you come down
just promise me you'll always leave the ground

In the drivers seat is my self-esteem
where i know that the heart should be
I'm cleaning off these shelves to show you how i've changed
and if all goes well tonight we'll call for rain
i'm moving pass the past at the slowest of speeds
hoping that our love exceeds our insecurities

finding myself finding myself
finding myself finding myself
finding myself find yourself

I'm running in circles
It's you i'm thinking of
and if you don't want to talk then this isn't love
A new destination i'll say my goodbyes
with my back turned to you
At least i know we tried.

-This day & age

candy cane

The candy cane is in the shape of a shepherd's staff. Jesus is our Shepherd and we are His flock. (John 10:11) Upside down, the candy cane is the shape of a "J", the first letter of Jesus name. (Luke 1:31) The wide red stripe represents the blood He shed on the cross for each one of us, so that we can have eternal life through Him. (Luke 22:20) The white stripe represents the sinlesness and purity of our Lord. (1 Peter 2:22)

The narrow red stripe represents that by His stripes or wounds, we are healed. (1 Peter 2:4) The flavouring in the candy cane is peppermint which is similar to hyssop. Hyssop is of the mint family and was used in the Old Testament for purification and sacrifice. (John19:29)
When we break our candy cane it reminds us that Jesus body was broken for us. (1 Cor 11:24)

If we share our candy cane and give it to someone else in love because we want to, it represents the same love of Jesus because He is to be shared with one another in love.






hrmm... not just any candy ;)

lovin' it

ahh.. why do i have to bump into you.

Greetings...

i am blogging, in sydney.
i know.
how lame is that, when i should be out the whole day.
reason being: broke

met up with Elvin ( my long lost childhood friend i used to admire ), for the first time today after 12 years. And. AND. crashed at his place *shameless*
Neva used to be this daring.
And walked from the apartment out to meet jo, bobb,& flav.. myself. MYSELF=P
again, i am so growing up *giving leech a wide smile*

and found out bout this a coup of months ago that Elvin's gf is sin wee (from mgs) 's sister.
hah! small small world. She's nice. great hospitality. Even smaller, bumped into mandy from canberra who jz got here and gonna head to newie :D

nice weather today.. sunny. moderate temperature. Can't believe im wasting it here indoor, blogging.

said bye to bobb for the last time. hopefully will be able to catch you in singapore, otherwise.. till we meet again.

p/s: 'post-exam syndrome' is taking a toll on me.

helpless

Never in my life I felt I had to depend on You this much, until now.

too late.

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down,
but wait,

You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late.



I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turning blue, and you say...

"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

-One republic-Apologize-

bitter

no one bother/like discussing answers after exams with me because i am not good academically and it is simply non-beneficial.







but i didn't think you would be like them too.

JunShi

I thought I'd start with "you're a shinning star and you brighten the day", but somehow I figured, that's just too cliche'.



Nutrition & Dietetics is what you pursue, but skipping lunches & snacking out hard is of cuz, another issue ? :P



And did they not know you're NOT just all about food & books, but you could also do a few good moves ;)



Oh don't they ever deny, that beautiful eyes of yours, hidden behind that pair of glasses as they passes you by.



you sometimes put on a look so blur, but oh that just makes you such a dear.



you're intelligent, you're firm, you're beautiful. You're simply one unique chick.



Softness you may portray, like a timid mouse they say,
but dont be decieved dear friends, She'll never let you prey!



Your friends, you inspire. For the Lord, you are on fire. And that is what I really do admire!




So, Happy 21st my precious dear friend,

Indulge in some fun,

and have a blessed one!



:)